the room with the bike

it’s 2011. i found this thing. spinning. indoor cycling. dark room, loud music, someone yelling at you to push harder.

your legs are burning and your lungs are burning and for forty-five minutes you don’t have to be a person with a dead grandmother and no friends and a body you hate. you just have to pedal.

i sit in the back row because i’m the biggest person in the room. but the lights are off. the music’s too loud. nobody’s looking. and afterwards i walk home in the cold with my legs shaking and i feel — clean. like someone ran a cloth over the inside of my head.

i go three times a week now. sometimes four. my body is starting to feel like something i own instead of something i’m dragging around.

i just need to keep pedaling.

/ den der trampede videre